Vanessa Holton
State Bar of California
General Counsel Emeritus
The above picture is from a story of of a lady in England pulling her 1,000,000 pint. I used it in my original story but the WayBackTimeMachine does not have it. Hopefully the San Rafael Police Department have this picture in their police report, unless they blacked it out to protect Vanessa Holton.
Vanessa Holton filed the police report on California State Bar letterhead, signing it as the General Counsel. She had her staff write the report, and then had them hand delivered it to the SRPD.
When I protested, the SRPD blacked out the report, removing all traces of the California State Bar. This was verified by Lt. Bishop on a recorded call. He said the report was useless.
Not Vanessa Holton
How does this story
Harass and Defame
Vanessa Lynne Holton?
Chapter 1 WayBackTimeMachine Link
I first met Vanessa Holton, my Nessie, in the spring of 1980 when I was stationed at Chicksands Air Force Base in beautiful Shefford, England. A few of us went to a popular club one Friday, only to find it was Punk Night, not the typical Top 40. We decided to stay and have a pint or two, just to check out the music and the crazy outfits. Spiked hair sprayed rainbow colors, tattoos, spiked chokers, studded leather jackets…
She saw me checking her out, and walked straight up to me, asking if I liked what I saw. She had purple spiked hair, tattoos, piercings, including a couple of large safety pins thru her ears and a smart, sassy attitude. I was as plain as a boy from the suburbs of Cleveland could be, with a freshly buzzed haircut to match. Her accent was a bit harsh, and with the music blasting, I pretended I couldn't hear her. She moved in closer, and repeated her question. I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Hell yes!". She smiled; and asked if she could buy me a drink. Hell Yes!
However, after a few pints, somehow we got into an argument. I called her a smart-mouthed wanna-be punk rocker, and said that she looked like Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. She said I was just another bloody Yank, and with the size of my trouser snake, that was probably all the action it ever saw, just yank, yank, yank. I told her to take the safety pins out of her ears and use them to pin her lips together. She slapped me upside the head, and then tried to drag me outside to kick my ass. I was immediately in love. Unfortunately the bouncer broke us up, and, as she left, she was flipping me off, all the while yelling graphic suggestions.
I went back to the club several times, asking if anyone had seen her, but alas, my punk rocker Nessie was nowhere to be found.
In England, the 4th of July celebration is know as July Fete, not wanting to rub winning the whole Revolutionary War thing in our guest countries face while we party and get drunk with them. The base is open to all the local population, we sell hot dogs and hamburgers, all the while American beer flows all the while the kids get to play carnival style games for prizes. Each unit on the base has a booth, and we volunteer to work different shifts to show our support and raise money for a charity. It's mid-afternoon, beautiful summer weather.
We set up just outside the Gilbertine Priory, a 1,000 year old monastery with a history. Around 1163, the Archbishop Thomas Becket found refuge there while fleeing to France to avoid the wrath of former friend King Henry II. It is also haunted by Rosetta, a nun found to be pregnant and was punished by being bricked up alive in one of the walls after watching her lover executed. The ghost of the girl has been seen by many, including myself. Like Cesar on the Ides of March, Rosetta makes her presence know on the 17th of the month.
I am busy flipping hamburgers when I get hit in the back of the head with a piece of ice. Thinking it was one of my friends being a pain, I turned around with a cup of water in hand, ready to throw, when I see it is Nessie, my punk rock love!
“Nessie, where have you been hiding?” I yell as she picks up another piece of ice. She said she heard I was looking for her and thought it was endearing, almost cute. I ask her if she would like something to eat, and pointed at the hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill.
“You got any pizza?” she asks with a smile from ear to ear. I grab two burgers, chips and canned soda and we take a seat at a table nearby. “Where have you been?” I ask. “I went back East to end it with my boyfriend. He had to move away to take care of his mum, seeing as how she had an accident and broke her hip and all.” she replied. She talks on for a minute or two, something about XB, Xavier or something, I’m just thinking “she’s single!”
I get smacked again. “Oy, are you even listening” she asks. I reply, “Yes, you were talking about your boyfriend, Xavier.” She busts out laughing, “Damn you are a really funny yank. XB is ex-boyfriend, and it’s Zavi, with a Zed, or Z as you Colonialists call it. What did you think, that I had some hot Latin boyfriend taking me out ballroom dancing every weekend? I’m good at the rumba, foxtrot and cha cha, but the lift in the Viennese Waltz get me every time.” I take another bite of my burger, trying to think of a way to change the subject when I see Captain Dishhop from the Security Police and her lapdog Corporal Jimmy Bellowing making their way towards us. Luckily a couple of her napkins blew off her plate, and Jimmy went chasing after them. Good boy Jimmy!
We both start laughing. I take the diversion as a means of escape and we head into the priory, grabbing one of the self-guided brochures by the front door. By the time Jimmy has the napkins picked up, we were out of sight. Nessie asks what’s wrong, why did we run from them. I explained that Jimmy is a total stickler for protocol, and even on a day like today he would comment on how my boots weren’t shined or the creases in my fatigues weren’t ironed to perfection. In reality, I didn’t want to see how Jimmy would react to Nessie, it was well known he didn’t like punk rockers. I start to read off the history of the Priory, including its use in WW2 as Missions Operation Center. Even with a few heavy coats of white paint, you could still see the wires poking thru walls and running along the ceiling molding. Here we were, standing in a 1,000 year old building, a religious, historic monument in it’s own right, and we see it has been modernized for warfare.
It is a very well kept secret that every enlisted person knows, that if you open a certain air vent in the hallway and then close the room door halfway, the air pressure causes door to close by itself slowly and then another one down the hall will close with a bang. With the first creak, Nessie is looking a little scared, and when the door slams she jumps in my arms. We both laugh and she kisses me on the cheek. As I try to kiss her, she pushes me back and slaps me again. “What kind of a cheep tart do you think I am? Just because I dress like this? I’m a good girl, I ain’t never been a really bad girl, not like that. Me mum always taught me to be a proper lady. I’ve never kissed a boy like that before.” Stunned, I ask, “Nessie are you a vir…”
The door opens up, startling us, and Nessie jumped back into my arms. I expected it to be Jimmy, but nope, it’s Colonel Gavin, my bosses, bosses, bosses, bosses boss. He had heard the door slam and had come to investigate. Had he overheard us talking? Colonel Gavin is one of those natural leaders, he simply inspires excellence. He also has a tendency to assign staff to “volunteer” for different community outreach projects near and dear to his heart. Now PDA, or Public Display of Affection is a no no, especially in fatigues. The fact that we were in an enclosed room matters not.
“Airman, do you know how the door slammed?” he asked. “No sir!”, I replied. “We were in here, and I was giving Vanessa a tour when it slammed, scaring her, and you opening the door scared her again. That’s why she is in my arms, Sir!”
“Airman, I would suggest you finish giving her a tour and head back outside.” “Yes Sir!”, I replied. Colonel Gavin started to exit the room, and in a perfect imitation of Lt. Colombo, he turns to me and says, “Just one more thing. Monday, 9AM?”. “Yes Sir”, I replied.
“What was that all about?”, Nessie asks. “It means I am going to be spending some of my weekends volunteering on whatever Colonel Gavin feels will benefit both me and my community at large. And when I say volunteer, that’s code for “Yes Sir! I think that I will both enjoy and grow from this experience. Thank You. Actually a lot of his volunteers stay on long after they need to. The work is never simple grunt work. If you put some effort into it, you never know how far it will take you in life.”
Nessie kissed me on the cheek again, and then grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door. We saw several people staring at us as we exited the room, with whispers following us as we walked down the hallway and out the front door. I asked her if she ever felt self-conscious or out-of-place dressing the way she does. She said, “When I look in the mirror, as long as I like what I see, that’s all that matters. The rest of the world can go stuff it up their fat arses.” Then she asked me, “Have you ever dressed like this?” Without waiting for an answer, she turns to face me and says, “I think you will look good with green and blue hair. What time is it?”
Are you there God? It’s me, Frank. Help…
Nessie tells me she has to get back home to help her mum out with a few chores around the house and then help her with her with a couple of her clients. We continue walking towards the parking lot when we see a beautiful dark blue BMW 635 CSi just ahead of us. Nessie runs up to it and starts peeking in the window. She asks me if anyone is looking as she wants to see what it feels like to drive one, or at least sit in the front seat. The panic was real, and I am praying that the door is locked, please let the door be locked.
Nope. She climbs in and starts playing race car driver. “Vroom vroom she yells as she hits the gas petal and twists on the steering wheel. “I wonder what they have in the boot?”, she asks as she pulls the lever and the trunk pops open. “Get in.” she orders and pushes open the passenger side door. I quickly close the trunk, hoping we are going unnoticed when I see Capt. Dishhop and Jimmy heading our way. I beg with her to get out, that she could get me in a lot of trouble.
As the two approach, I snap to attention and salute Captain Dishhop. “What’s going on?” she asked, glaring at Nessie behind the wheel. I turn to look at Nessie, and she is again, grinning big time. The next thing I hear is the sound of a car starting, with the engine revving as smooth as can be. Nessie beeps on the horn, again making Jimmie jump and squeak like a puppy dog. “Eeeekkk!”
“Carry on Airman.” and glares at Jimmy. Oh Oh, was Jimmy in trouble?
Nessie waves at me to get in. To stunned to think, I comply and climb in. “Relax” she says as we drive past the Captain and Jimmy. She beeps the horn and waves, causing Jimmy to jump again. I ducked down as I busted out laughing. As we exit the base, Nessie tells me to lean back and relax, she needs to drive while she thinks. She reaches over and turns on the radio. Classical music plays, it sounds like Beethoven's 5th.
“Do you like classical music” she asks me as I sit lost and confused. “Is this your car?” I ask. “Naw, I nicked it last week, the owner is out of town so he don’t even know it’s gone. Relax, mate it’s me mum’s car.” she replies. “Classical music helps me relax, kinda clears the head, ya know.”
“I thought you had to get back home to help your mom.” I asked as we drove towards Bedford. “What, are you tired of me already?” Nessie asked with a smile. I lowered the seat back and closed my eyes. We drove for another 30 minutes, just listening to the music and looking at the beautiful countryside. After a right-turn thru a roundabout, Nessie pulled the car over and parked next to a pub. “Lets go in for a pint.” In the military, while we are not allowed to go drinking in our fatigues, having lunch with a pint is OK. Why not, in for a penny as they say in merry ole England.
We take a seat outside and as the waitress walks up to us, she smiles and gives Nessie a big hug from behind.
“Hellie Nellie, how is my favorite niece? How's yer mum? Is this your latest project” she asks, nodding towards me.
Wait, what?
I’m fine, Aunt Mattie, mum is mum, you know her.” Nessie ordered two pints of ale and a plate of bangers and mash. Bangers are thick English sausages on top of mashed potatoes, sometimes with a side of baked beans. Delicious.
“Your aunt works here?”
“She and her husband Ian own the pub, its been in the family for over four hundred years.”
“This pub is over four hundred years old?”
“Maybe more.” she replied. “You Yanks have to remember we have a couple thousand years of history, you have about maybe fifty or so.”
As I look at the menu I glance at the top to check out the name of the pub. It's called "The State Bar Pub". "That's an odd name for a pub, isn't it?" I asked.
"Well, me mum is a Barrister, you know, call them lawyers in the Colonies, don't you? Almost 100 years ago, Madge Easton Anderson was the first woman admitted to practice law in the UK, a close relative of ours. In 1941 my Nan became a barrister and so did me mum in 1962. In another few years, I will pass the bar. You should see me in robes and that crazy wig, it hides my hair and piercings. Didn't expect that did ya?"
I think the ale kept me from having a heart attack. "What's your mum working on now?"
"Well you know for years our Bar has been accused of cronyism and protecting its members from complaints, right?" They wrote rules that allow them to appoint their friends and college mates to "Special Counsels" to protect each other from investigations when they screw up. Imagine being able to pack a jury with your friends and family. These people are sworn to uphold the law, but when they get caught, their friends protect them. They feel that they are above the law, that they can get away with committing felonies, and who cares?"
Damn! Sounds familiar from somewhere...
"Me mum's fighting to get a real Inspector General's office opened with more direct judicial oversite to those at the top, keep their ethics in check, ya know. Who watches the watchers? How is it you Yanks put it? The fox is watching the hen house?"
"Guarding the Hen house. How is it going?"
"Slow, but me mum is pushing a lot of the politicians and jurists that much greater oversite is needed, that when the checks and balances that keep our legal system fair are ignored by the "elite", that's when the wheels come off the bus. Your Supreme Court has "Equal Justice Under Law", yet the Bar execs let's their friends be their judge and jury."
"Anything else?" I asked.
She is working with some of me mates to sue the Church of England over its anti-homosexual stance.
"Wait, What?"
"Do read the Bible?"
"I was born and raised Lutheran, went thru Confirmation, did hours and hours of Bible Study. Why?"
"What about Leviticus 18?"
You mean verse 22, "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination." "We call that the "No Homo Rule" in the military."
"Exactly! But where is the "No Lesbo Rule""
Wait, What?
Nessie got up and went into the pub. She returned shortly carrying a big book.
"It's me Aunt's Family Bible, it's over 200 years old. Go ahead, you can read it." I was holding a 200 year old book, a relic in American History and Nellie is just handing it to me. I very reverently open it up, the pages are thick and ornate drawings everywhere. After flipping through the pages for a minute, I turn to Leviticus 18 and started reading from the top. Wow, lots and lots of rules on incestual behavior. OK, no sex with a mother and daughter...
I kept reading until I came to Verse 22, which I read out loud to Nessie. “‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable."
"Keep Reading"
"Well Verse 23 says, "Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.""
"You see there, they specify both men and women having sex with an animal is wrong, but they never say women cannot have sex with women, or that, excluding all the incest rules, a man cannot sleep with two non-related women now does it?"
What About Acts 15:19 - “It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God. (20) Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood. (21) For the law of Moses has been preached in every city from the earliest times and is read in the synagogues on every Sabbath.”
Nessie looked at me for what seemed forever, her eyes peering deep into my soul. "I really like you. Your fun, impulsive, and you don't walk away from a fight. I liked how when I first hit you in the club, you just smiled. When I told you to get in the car, you jumped in. Your a gentle soul with a passion for justice. You have to remember that the Laws of Moses, coming from the earliest time, never banned women from having sex with women, nor from letting men have sex with two women as long as they're not related. That was the accepted sexual morals back then, men could have more than one wife."
She continued, "When they wrote those laws way way back when, they could have simply said that a man can only sleep with one woman at a time, and been done with it. They got very specific with their do's and dont's, didn't they?
"Do you think your mom will win?"
"Hell Yea, she is a tough bird. Oy, I gotta get you back to the base and get home to help mum." Nessie took the Bible back inside and I heard her saying goodbye to Aunt Mattie. She walked back out and handed me a piece of paper. It was a tab for the food and ale. My eyes widened a bit.
"What, did ya think just because my aunt owns the place, we get free food? You best give her a good tip or there will be hell to pay next time."
Next time??? Help!
P.S. In May of 2018, the Church of England published "Grace and Disagreement" where they admit that lesbianism is not covered by Jewish Law. From the last paragraph on page 32:
The ethics of same-sex desire in the biblical writers follow inevitably from their anthropology. Male homosexual activity is mentioned twice in Leviticus 18.22, 20.13 as an ‘abomination’ (female homosexual activity is not mentioned at all). These passages are part of the ‘Holiness Code,’ which seeks to establish clear lines of demarcation between Israel’s moral code and those of the pagan nations around. The ‘mixing’ of gender roles in same-sex relations (‘lying with a man as with a woman’) is prohibited as part of a wider code prohibiting various kinds of ‘mixing’ (mixed crops in a field, mixed fibres in clothing).
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Vanessa Holton
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